The Best of Netflix Instant

For years I have heard about how great Mad Men is, about how it makes you wish for the 1960's, about how Don Draper wakes up in the morning and pisses cool.  So after Netflix made the entire series available for instant streaming I started to make my way through the 60's period drama.  Normally, I fly through TV shows but I struggled to make it through Mad Men for a few reasons.  The setting is definitely cool and the attention to detail is top-notch but I found myself not caring about any of the characters. Most of them are adulterous assholes and those who aren't still find ways to become as unlikable as possible (I'm looking at you, Betty).  Meanwhile, the plot arcs or lack there of failed to grab my attention until Season 4.

Mad Men is definitely above-average but I expected more from a show that's won the Outstanding Drama Series Emmy for each of its seasons.  However, my first-world problems didn't last long because very soon after finishing up Mad Men, I started to make my way through another AMC series, Breaking Bad, a show that takes the intriguing premise of a high school chemistry teacher turned meth cooker into one of the best shows I've ever seen.

Breaking Bad is intense, unrelenting, and even made me want to major in chemistry but its characters are the highlight.  Walter White (played by Bryan Cranston) is an antihero done right.  He's an ass with, at best, questionable morals.  Just when you think he's going to help someone out of the kindness of his heart you realize he's acting in his own self-interest.  However, you still find yourself rooting for Walt because you understand his motives.


As great as Walter White is, he's only the tip of the iceberg.  Jesse (played by Aaron Paul), Walt's oft in-trouble sidekick, Mike, a badass private investigator, and The Cousins, silent assassins for a Mexican drug cartel, are just a small part of the memorable supporting cast.


What's so impressive about Breaking Bad is that it keeps getting better.  Just when you think the writers can't possibly up the ante anymore, they blow your mind.  From what I've read the recently finished season 4 continues the trend, I can't wait to watch it.


Check out a list of everything I have posted about in my Best of Netflix Instant Archive.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

I've never been one to complain about the number of movie sequels or remakes but it does seem to be getting ridiculous.  Everything from The Crow, to Point Break is getting a reboot.  Hell, even Red Dawn is being remade!  Now 21 Jump Street, the TV show that made Johnny Depp famous, is getting a reboot on the silver screen.  I admittedly haven't seen any episodes of 21 Jump but this seems more like Superbad from the cops' perspective than a show that covers typical issues, "including alcoholism, hate crimes, drug abuse, homophobia, AIDS, child abuse, and sexual promiscuity."  Oh well, I guess 1987 was a long time ago.

Fun fact: by the later seasons of the original show, Johnny Depp hated his role and wanted to leave.  As a result he didn't care and would make ridiculous suggestions to the producers one of which "included the discovery by the other characters that [Depp's character]  was obsessed with peanut butter, and would be discovered by the other characters smearing it all over his naked body."  I hope this is included in the reboot.

Mirror, Mirror releasing within a few months of Snow White & the Huntsman is no coincidence.  After Alice in Wonderland became the 9th highest grossing movie of all time (I don't get it either) movie studios have decided to cash-in on "adult fairy tales."  The Huntsman has decided to take the epic action-adventure route while Mirror, Mirror is going for the quirky comedy.  However, comedies generally should be funny and just about every joke in that trailer fell on its face.  I'm not particularly optimistic about either Snow White adaptation but Mirror, Mirror definitely looks worse.

This Week's Trailer Trash Throwback: One of Tom Cruise's earliest films, the fantasy epic Legend.

Comics That Need a Movie/TV Adaptation

A long, long time ago, in 2002, the original Spider-Man movie became the first film to gross over $100 million in a weekend and movie studios quickly realized that an established comic book  + awesome special effects = a swimming pool full of money

Since then studios have churned out comic book films at an astonishing rate.  Almost a decade after Spider-Man there are very few major heroes without a film adaptation but comics still have plenty to offer.  Here are three of the most promising:

Axe Cop

Yep, that's a space t-rex with gatling guns and aviators.  Need I say more?

If for some reason you still aren't convinced that Axe Cop needs a movie adaptation, consider these relevant points:

• Axe Cop is a collaboration between a 29 year-old and his 5 year-old brother.  The 5 year-old comes up with the story and ideas while his brother makes it into a comic.
• Axe Cop was born with a mustache
• Axe Cop's brother, Flute Cop, transforms into Dinosaur Soldier and later into Avocado Soldier 
• Together Axe Cop and Avocado Soldier run a fruit stand because they "need more money to get new guns and swords."
• Axe Cop defeats a rampaging robot by throwing a baby with a unicorn horn through its eye
• Sockarang is a member of Axe Cop's team who throws socks at his enemies but he eventually acquires the power of Christmas

It's completely absurd but if done correctly an Axe Cop movies could be ridiculously entertaining and over-the-top enough to make Michael Bay blush.


Chances a movie will happen: 50%  Axe Cop's complete ridiculousness is simultaneously its greatest strength and its greatest weakness.  In other words, I could see studios avoiding it because of the insanity or gravitating towards it for the same reason.  I can't decide which force will be stronger. Currently there's nothing about an upcoming Axe Cop movie, so that means nothing within the next two years. 

Fables

One of the better advertisements for public transportation I've ever seen

In the Fables universe all the characters from the world's most famous myths, legends, and tall tales exist (as long as they aren't copyrighted) in hundreds of interconnected worlds.  Unfortunately, a few hundred years ago an enigmatic being known as the Adversary begins to conquer and subdue the worlds' of the Fables.  As the Adversary's Empire grows, more and more characters become refugees and flee to Earth.  The refugees found a new settlement in New Amsterdam, New Amsterdam eventually becomes known as New York City, and the Adversary doesn't really care because his Empire is huge and powerful and Earth is mundane (without magic). Fables picks up in modern times and focuses on the internal issues of Fabletown as well as the increasing tension with the Empire.  The comic has a huge ensemble cast but some of the more important characters are Bigby Wolf, formerly the Big Bad Wolf and now the reformed sheriff of Fabletown (he can take human form), Prince Charming (he's a douche), and Snow White.


With this premise Bill Willingham creates one of the most consistently entertaining comic series I have ever read.  Just when you think Fables is going to lose steam a new, previously unimportant character steps forward in a great story arc.  110 issues later Fables is as strong as ever.


Chances a TV show will happen: 70% The massive size of Fables means only a TV show could do the series justice.  Both NBC and ABC at one point owned the rights but thus far nothing has materialized, I assume this is largely due to the cost associated with creating Fables but the success of Game of Thrones, another huge fantasy epic, means it can be done profitably. I think the source material is too good to be passed up forever.  On a side note ABC's new series, Once Upon a Time seems like it "borrowed" from Fables.

Superman: Red Son

In one of the all-time great "what if?" stories, Superman: Red Son explores an alternate reality where Krypton's Last Son crash lands on a farm in the Soviet bloc instead of Kansas.  From that idea Mark Millar expertly crafts a retelling of the Cold War that spans from 1953 to 2001.  With Superman as their leader, the Soviet Union gradually gains control of most of the world.  America's only hope to resist Communism lies with Lex Luthor, an unstable genius hellbent on defeating the Man of Steel.  Some of DC's greatest heroes are re-imagined including Wonder Woman, The Green Lantern, and Batman who is the same but now has a fur hat because he's Soviet.  

What's so impressive is that Millar doesn't rely on the strength of one good idea, he creates a story that would have been compelling with a Soviet or American Superman.  Simply put, Red Son is one of the best graphic novels I have ever read and arguably the best Superman story ever told.

Chances a movie will happen: 5% while Red Son is a great comic I doubt  anyone would be willing to put hundreds of millions of dollars into telling such an unconventional story.  if Man of Steel is successful that would increase the probability but not hugely so.  

As I write this I keep thinking of more comics that would make AWESOME movies (Kingdom Come, Y: The Last Man).  I will have to write another post at some point.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

I really wanted to like this trailer.  It's epic, has a cool soundtrack, stars Thor/Captain Kirk's dad, and has a forest monster at 1:28 that reminds me of Pan's Labyrinth.  However, I have to resist my natural tendencies and keep in mind everything that seems wrong with it.

Firstly, what is up with Charlize Theron's voice?  The South African is a proven actress but her quasi-British accent varies between odd and awful over the course of the trailer.  Chris Hemsworth's Irish accent is way more convincing.  Then there's Kristen Stewart.  She deserves some hatred for portraying the most ridiculously boring character in cinema history aka Bella Swan but Stewart probably takes too much flack for that one role.  What concerns me is that this trailer made her out to be the same emotionless mute.  She doesn't even speak!  The Huntsman, the Queen, and even the goddamn Mirror On The Wall seem more interesting.

A strong director would lower my skepticism but Rupert Sanders is an "acclaimed commercial director" who has never directed a film.  In other words, he's a completely unknown quantity.  Unless future trailers ease my concerns, I'm going to stick with Stardust.



There are a couple other trailers I want to talk about but unfortunately I'm swamped with work for the next few days so they will have to wait until next week.



This Week's Trailer Trash Throwback: The film portion of the greatest book, TV show, and movie triumvirate of all time.

WTF Japan: TV Commercials

Guess what this is an ad for.  Seriously, take a few seconds and think about the possibilities. Do you have a few ideas?  If you guessed this is an advertisement for Anabuki Construction, Japan's leading builder of condominiums, you're right!  Nothing says, "high-quality, but affordable condominiums" quite like a wolf with testicles the size of basketballs. 






Apparently, American celebrities frequently appear in completely moronic Japanese commercials.  I can only assume Hulk Hogan received several suitcases of money to sing this jingle and Arnold Schwarzenegger got a private island to play Kazaam in this pharmaceutical commercial:
A little over a decade later that man became governor of the world's ninth largest economy.






A comparison of a commercial for the United States Navy and a commercial for the Japanese Self-Defense Force Navy:


A recruitment commercial should try and convince the viewer to join.  The American commercial shows groups of badass-looking men doing badass things in badass vehicles.  Most members of the United States Navy will never jump out of a helicopter or participate in a covert assault on a beach but that's the ideal.  The Japanese commercial shows a group of men in sailor outfits dance around and sing about "seaman ships."  Is that the ideal every member of the Japanese Navy aspires to?

Trailer Trash Tuesday

    I think the creators of Project X ran out of money then realized they hadn't paid anyone to think of a title.  Project X sounds like a secret government experiment not a really big party that got out of hand.  Corey Delaney: The Movie is much more appropriate.


I don't know if this will actually be any good but it's rated "R" for "Crude and sexual content throughout, nudity, drugs, drinking, pervasive language, reckless behavior, and mayhem-all involving teens."  How can I say no to that?




Normally I jump at opportunities to make fun of Ryan Reynolds but Buried has (at least temporarily) changed my opinion of the pretty boy actor.  That being said, I'm still not impressed by the Safe House trailer.  Nothing about it is original.  Denzel Washington is a rogue CIA agent a la the Bourne movies and Ryan Reynolds is the naive rookie agent a la every conspiracy film ever.  Even playing a Jay-Z song has been done multiple times.  Denzel might be able to save Safe House from being a mediocre, run-of-the-mill thriller but I doubt it.






Trailer Trash Throwback: a great teaser for a great movie

The Best of Netflix Instant

Imagine waking up in an impossibly dark room.  It’s so dark that closing your eyes doesn’t change a thing; you might as well be blind.  Your hands are bound with rope.  Meanwhile, the throbbing in your head and the stifling heat make it difficult to remember what happened.  After struggling with your bonds you manage to ignite a lighter and discover that the room is actually a coffin buried underground. 

Before praising Buried, I want to clarify that the film’s entire 90-minute runtime takes place inside a coffin.  With the exception of one extremely brief moment, Ryan Reynolds (with a shirt on) is the only person you see.  I think it’s worth seeing but that might be a deal breaker for some.

From the Hitchcockian opening until the heart-attack inducing ending, Buried never takes the foot off the pedal.  Just when you think the “oh my god, I’m trapped in a coffin ” thing is getting stale, the film adds another element to the plot and further increases your blood pressure.  It’s difficult to explain how the film pulls this off but watch it and you will understand.

What surprised me the most about Buried is the size of the story.  Reynolds doesn’t exist in a vacuum.  The entire time you are aware of a bigger story unfolding outside, a story of the American occupation of Iraq, of heartless corporations, and of the search for a man buried in the desert.  Compare this to 127 Hours.  In both films the male protagonist is alone and trapped with no real prospect of help.  However, 127 Hours is very centered on James Franco and his personal conflicts while Reynolds in Buried is part of a bigger conflict.  Neither is inherently better but they represent two different and ultimately successful ways to approach a situation.

As much as I enjoyed the film I have two complaints.  Firstly, watching the film requires some suspension of disbelief because a few scenes didn’t seem possible.  At one point Ryan Reynolds fights off a snake with an alcohol-generated fire, keep in mind that he’s still inside a coffin.  My other big complaint is the occasional poor dialogue.  In response to a woman on the phone asking Reynolds what’s will happen if they don’t rescue him by 9pm he says, “He’ll take me to Sea World!”  It immediately reminded me of Ryan Reynolds’ much less impressive acting performances.

Despite its few shortcomings Buried is a fantastic film.  Together, director Rodrigo Cortes, a relatively unknown Spanish director, and Ryan Reynolds, a pretty boy who usually plays the exact same character, form an unlikely pair.  I never thought I’d say this but I spent an hour and a half in a box with Ryan Reynolds and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Check out a list of everything I have posted about in my Best of Netflix Instant Archive.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

It's been a slow week for trailers but I found two worth sharing.

Not many movie series hit their stride with the third installment but Mission Impossible is a rare exception.  The first has some memorable scenes but afterwards I had no idea what the hell happened.  Mission Impossible 2 had laughably ridiculous action sequences and an almost non-existent plot.  The third installment finally got it right by including entertaining but relatively believable action scenes, cool spy tech, and a solid action movie plot.  Right now it looks like Ghost Protocol will continue the trend started by MI:III.  Also, I <3 Brad Bird, the man responsible for The Iron Giant, The Incredibles, and Ratatouille.  

Behold!  The first British movie to be shot in 3D:

What. The. Hell.  That almost made me vomit.

Trailer Trash Throwback: "I Lied"  *drops man off cliff*