WTF Japan

If someone asked me to name three things the Internet has brought to the world I would tell them three is too few but if that person continued to push me I would say:

1. Funny cat videos
2. Porn
3. Weird stuff from Japan

Did their isolated island cause the creation of a culture that revolves around tentacle porn (SECOND PORN REFERENCE), game shows, and anime?  Maybe after losing WWII they said to themselves, “Fuck this, let’s get weird.”  Regardless of how all this weirdness happened, it doesn’t appear to be going anywhere as evidenced by three relatively recent video games. 

Cho Aniki (means “Super Big Brother”)

In Japan’s defense, one weird game can be justified as an anomaly.  After all, the United States is responsible for General Custer’s Revenge but that game never had any sequels.  The Cho Aniki series is now made up of six games.  SIX!  Here is a brief plot summary of the most recent installment in the series: “The plot of this game centers on the Holy Protein, a deity-like glob of what may be semen.”  Believe it or not that doesn’t appear to be the most ridiculous game in the series.  1995’s game includes numerous playable characters including (I was too afraid to Google any of these):

Samson/Adon- a homosexual couple who attack by gyrating and flatulating

Sabu- a pagoda-shaped ship with an Elvis Presley-looking figurehead

Mami 19- an amalgam of a cute girl and a battleship transporting three naked, frolicking men

Adam – a naked man riding in half a moon

Uminim- a latex creature that resembles a condom

Japan World Cup

I wish I knew what the announcers were saying but I doubt it would help explain what the hell is going on.  How can anyone explain a race between a bipedal horse, the Yeti, a seal, the Trojan Horse, and the tour bus of a Japanese pop star?   I was rooting for the Yeti.

However, maybe there is some genius in this because I watched over ten minutes of YouTube videos for Japan World Cup, I couldn’t stop.  This one is just as insane.

Love Death 2

Wow, Love Death 2 just blew way past the line between weird and disturbing.   Is this enjoyable for anyone?  What does that syringe do? What is the game’s objective?  The only thing I can figure is that the Japanese government made this game as a sting operation.  Anyone who buys it automatically gets ten years in jail and a place on the sex-offenders list.  At least their law enforcement is thinking outside of the box to deal with some unique problems.