Trailer Trash Tuesday: My Triumphant Return Edition

As I'm sure anyone who cares has noticed, I haven't posted on my blog in a long, long, time. I'm sorry about that. Life at school is busier than I anticipated and I recently started writing some video game-related posts on Grouvee.com. Posting on Gamot got pushed to number three on my list.

The bad new is my blog will remain third on that list. Fortunately, I'm making a concerted effort to start posting again. I won't be as reliable as I have been in the past, so don't expect a Trailer Trash every single Tuesday. Also, don't count on any massive top-ten countdowns, those take forever. However, I will post about anything awesome (or awesomely bad) I see either in the movie theater or on Netflix. I'm tentatively aiming for one to two posts a week but bear with me.



Someone has finally answered the age-old question: what happens when you combine Ghostbusters with Snakes on a Plane? Apparently you get something starring Turtle from Entourage. 

In all seriousness, I think a plane is a pretty clever setting for a horror film. It's completely isolated with no chance of outside help, there's nowhere to run, and you're surrounded by nothing but open air. Horror films aren't my favorite but this managed to somewhat interest me.





Judging from YouTube comments, there are some people that aren't very happy about there being a new Jason Bourne. I don't have a problem with it. If the newest Bourne fails it won't detract from the original three and if it succeeds Legacy could build on the story from Matt Damon's time as the eponymous agent. I'm sure some people opposed Christian Bale as Batman or The Lord of the Rings film adaptations but look how those worked out.





As a history nerd and someone who thinks vampire hunters are the coolest, I'm irrationally excited for this. Honest Abe is going to kick some vampire ass. I can't think of anything else to say... Abraham Lincoln riding a bear. George Washington fighting zombies! A BEAR RIDING ABRAHAM LINCOLN!!


This week's Trailer Trash Throwback: One of the most under appreciated Marvel superhero films

Trailer Trash Tuesday: YouTube Chain Insanity Edition

The slowest period of the year trailer-wise (and most other forms of entertainment) is upon us. Thankfully there is some weird stuff on YouTube (sorry for how half-assed this is).

There is a Scorpion King 2? It made enough money to warrant a third? Billy Zane AND Kimbo Slice are still alive?






A link at the end of that trailer led me to:

My money's on Witch Bitch



and a link at the end of that led me to:

HAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA.

Trailer Trash Tuesday: The Best of 2011

The Prince of Persia Award for a Too-Good Trailer
Generally, good movies had good trailers and vise versa but that's not always the case.  Prince of Persia had an awesome first trailer but ended up being nothing more than a flashy movie lacking any coherent plot or Middle Eastern actors.  The 2011 recipient had a trailer that showed off an awesome cast, cool special effects, and an appealing premise.  Unfortunately, the trailer ended up being more entertaining than the movie.




The Award for Best Video Game Trailer
Most of the other awards took some thought but this one was a no-brainer.  That's not to say video game trailers were any worse than usual this year but one truly stood out as a step above the rest even if the game ultimately didn't stack up.






The Thankful Nerd Award for Making Me Feel Cool
This award may never be given out again but I had to think of a way to honor a commercial that makes me feel giddy even after a dozen views.  I envy anyone named Michael. To quote a YouTube comment, "COULD YOU IMAGINE A BAR FIGHT IN THERE?? HOLY SHIT"

The Award for the Best Movie Trailer of the Year

Many trailers impressed me this year and my honorable mention list includes The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Muppets, and Super 8.  However, there's one trailer I keep watching over and over again. The trailer showed some great footage but not too much and most importantly, It did exactly what a trailer should do: make me excited. 

For the Worst Trailers of the year click here!

Trailer Trash Tuesday: The Worst and The Weirdest of 2011

Over the last six months I have watched hundreds of movie trailers.  I've seen everything, from the good, to the bad, to the ugly, and the weird and everything in-between.  So I think it's worth recognizing those 2011 trailers that managed to succeed and those that failed worse than an Uwe Boll film.




The Award for Most Revealing Trailer of 2011
Trailers have to walk a fine line.  They should give viewers a taste of what's to come but can't give too much away.  Most manage to do a decent job but one trailer decided to turn its 2-minute runtime into a 2-minute movie.  
At least I don't have to buy a movie ticket




The Award for Least Revealing Trailer of 2011
The Last of Us is a recently announced video game from Naughty Dog, the creator of the Uncharted series.  Prior to releasing a more in-depth trailer, this was released on the Internet, presumably to annoy as many people as possible






The Award for Most Premature Ejaculation of 2011
This award probably applies more to a movie than a trailer but there is no way I will ever see this particular movie.  There have been biopics about politicians, musicians, athletes, and authors but I've never heard of one that celebrates the lifetime achievements of a 17 year-old.






The Award for Worst Trailer of 2011
I had a hard time with this decision as there were many worthy candidates including The Lion of Judah which set a new low for animated movies and Bunraku which did its best imitation of a high school play.  Still, neither of those two can can match the complete ineptitude of the Bucky Larson trailer.  Maybe it's revolutionary for making a comedy trailer completely unfunny but I doubt it.




Check back a little later for the best trailers of the year

Trailer Trash Tuesday: Post New Year's Hangover Edition

Before you get too excited about Bruce Willis, The Rock, and that pretty stylish trailer, allow me to be the proverbial Debbie Downer.  Jon Chu, the director for Retaliation, directed one film in 2011.  That film wasn't Mission Impossible, The Muppets, or X-Men: First Class.  Jon Chu directed Justin Bieber: Never Say Never.  Admittedly, Chu is a young director and everyone needs to start somewhere but why did it have to be Bieber?  Anyone but him.




Wow.  I feel like I just watched a 2-minute inside joke that I'm not cool enough to be in on. Apparently this is a movie adaptation of Adult Swim's Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job!  Now this is starting to make sense.  My few experiences with Adult Swim have all ended with me thinking, "I'm not on enough drugs to appreciate this." So it's not surprising that, "The show continues to polarize audiences; some call it 'crude and inane randomness', while others consider it be satirical brilliance."  I tried to figure out the meaning of 'shrim' but urbandictionary and Google weren't much help.  Maybe I'm not on enough drugs to understand.






With Ridley Scott directing his first sci-fi film since Blade Runner, an intriguing premise, and a strong cast that include Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron, Prometheus has all the makings of a great film.  I wish the trailer didn't seem quite so similar to Alien but my expectations are still riding high





This Week's Trailer Trash Throwback: One of the most iconic movie trailers of all time.

Check back later today for Trailer Trash Tuesday: The Best, the Worst, and the Weirdest of 2011 Edition

Trailer Trash Tuesday: Too Many Trailers! Part 2

  Without a doubt The Expendables tops my list of most disappointing movies of all time.  The thought of Stallone, Statham, Li, and Lundgren in the same film got me ridiculously excited.  Unfortunately, The Expendables had no plot.  Even a ton of badasses shooting each other needs some context, so I left the theater feeling very let down.  Now Stallone is back and trying his best to get me all excited again but I won't be swayed so easily.  Bigger roles for Arnold and Bruce Willis?  Not enough, Arnold is creepy now anyways.  Van Damme and Chuck Norris?  Still not excited, I get my daily dose of Chuck Norris from the Internet.  Director Simon West aka the man who directed both Con Air AND the music video for "Never Gonna Give You Up"?  FINE, you win Stallone, I'm excited.

  If you still aren't convinced this movie will be awful, allow me to fix that.  Not only is Snooki in this film but so is the entire cast of The Jersey Shore.  God help us.

I've never liked the concept of a dog show.  Admittedly, I've never been to one but judging dogs seems strange.  I couldn't care less whether or not my dog is pure bred or "perfectly proportioned."  So I find the idea of an award for the ugliest dog hilarious.

I was all done with my post and ready to go to bed until I saw this:

Awesome, I wasn't particularly excited when New Line announced that The Hobbit would be split into two movies.  It seemed like a shameless money grab but maybe there is enough material to justify it.  Regardless, I really enjoyed that surprisingly long trailer and can't wait to return to Middle-Earth.

Trailer Trash Tuesday: Too Many Trailers Edition! Part 1

   I think it's safe to call The Dari Knight Rises the most highly anticipated films of the last five years.  So this trailer has generated pretty significant buzz and for good reason.  It's the first one to show a significant amount of new stuff, especially when compared to the last one.  We get the first (real) footage of Tom Hardy as Bane, Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as John Blake, a Gotham City cop.  There's also a couple cool shots of an upgraded Batmobile and possibly an incarnation of the Batwing at 1:50!  I'm thinking about cryogenically freezing myself for seven months.




Ugh, when they first announced this I was pretty excited but this trailer dampened my expectations substantially.  Jack is looking more and more like a blatant attempt to mimic 2010's Alice in Wonderland and cash-in just like Tim Burton's fantasy epic.  Both put a twist on classic fairytales, have similar visual styles, use an established cast and director, and introduce a relative newcomer as the lead.   Speaking of Jack the Giant Killer's lead, I remember Nicholas Hoult playing Beast in X-Men: First Class and he doesn't strike me as a leading man.  




   I love it when a trailer comes out of nowhere and pleasantly surprises me.  As a twenty-one year old male I expected to have no interest whatsoever in a movie about pregnant women.  My Twilight-alarm was screaming to run away, drink a beer, and watch Rambo but luckily I sat through that hilarious trailer.  I still don't know if I'll see it in theaters but Elizabeth Banks and the badass group of dads are making a pretty strong case.  


Check back late tonight for part 2

Trailer Trash Tuesday

I've never been one to complain about the number of movie sequels or remakes but it does seem to be getting ridiculous.  Everything from The Crow, to Point Break is getting a reboot.  Hell, even Red Dawn is being remade!  Now 21 Jump Street, the TV show that made Johnny Depp famous, is getting a reboot on the silver screen.  I admittedly haven't seen any episodes of 21 Jump but this seems more like Superbad from the cops' perspective than a show that covers typical issues, "including alcoholism, hate crimes, drug abuse, homophobia, AIDS, child abuse, and sexual promiscuity."  Oh well, I guess 1987 was a long time ago.

Fun fact: by the later seasons of the original show, Johnny Depp hated his role and wanted to leave.  As a result he didn't care and would make ridiculous suggestions to the producers one of which "included the discovery by the other characters that [Depp's character]  was obsessed with peanut butter, and would be discovered by the other characters smearing it all over his naked body."  I hope this is included in the reboot.

Mirror, Mirror releasing within a few months of Snow White & the Huntsman is no coincidence.  After Alice in Wonderland became the 9th highest grossing movie of all time (I don't get it either) movie studios have decided to cash-in on "adult fairy tales."  The Huntsman has decided to take the epic action-adventure route while Mirror, Mirror is going for the quirky comedy.  However, comedies generally should be funny and just about every joke in that trailer fell on its face.  I'm not particularly optimistic about either Snow White adaptation but Mirror, Mirror definitely looks worse.

This Week's Trailer Trash Throwback: One of Tom Cruise's earliest films, the fantasy epic Legend.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

I really wanted to like this trailer.  It's epic, has a cool soundtrack, stars Thor/Captain Kirk's dad, and has a forest monster at 1:28 that reminds me of Pan's Labyrinth.  However, I have to resist my natural tendencies and keep in mind everything that seems wrong with it.

Firstly, what is up with Charlize Theron's voice?  The South African is a proven actress but her quasi-British accent varies between odd and awful over the course of the trailer.  Chris Hemsworth's Irish accent is way more convincing.  Then there's Kristen Stewart.  She deserves some hatred for portraying the most ridiculously boring character in cinema history aka Bella Swan but Stewart probably takes too much flack for that one role.  What concerns me is that this trailer made her out to be the same emotionless mute.  She doesn't even speak!  The Huntsman, the Queen, and even the goddamn Mirror On The Wall seem more interesting.

A strong director would lower my skepticism but Rupert Sanders is an "acclaimed commercial director" who has never directed a film.  In other words, he's a completely unknown quantity.  Unless future trailers ease my concerns, I'm going to stick with Stardust.



There are a couple other trailers I want to talk about but unfortunately I'm swamped with work for the next few days so they will have to wait until next week.



This Week's Trailer Trash Throwback: The film portion of the greatest book, TV show, and movie triumvirate of all time.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

    I think the creators of Project X ran out of money then realized they hadn't paid anyone to think of a title.  Project X sounds like a secret government experiment not a really big party that got out of hand.  Corey Delaney: The Movie is much more appropriate.


I don't know if this will actually be any good but it's rated "R" for "Crude and sexual content throughout, nudity, drugs, drinking, pervasive language, reckless behavior, and mayhem-all involving teens."  How can I say no to that?




Normally I jump at opportunities to make fun of Ryan Reynolds but Buried has (at least temporarily) changed my opinion of the pretty boy actor.  That being said, I'm still not impressed by the Safe House trailer.  Nothing about it is original.  Denzel Washington is a rogue CIA agent a la the Bourne movies and Ryan Reynolds is the naive rookie agent a la every conspiracy film ever.  Even playing a Jay-Z song has been done multiple times.  Denzel might be able to save Safe House from being a mediocre, run-of-the-mill thriller but I doubt it.






Trailer Trash Throwback: a great teaser for a great movie

Trailer Trash Tuesday

It's been a slow week for trailers but I found two worth sharing.

Not many movie series hit their stride with the third installment but Mission Impossible is a rare exception.  The first has some memorable scenes but afterwards I had no idea what the hell happened.  Mission Impossible 2 had laughably ridiculous action sequences and an almost non-existent plot.  The third installment finally got it right by including entertaining but relatively believable action scenes, cool spy tech, and a solid action movie plot.  Right now it looks like Ghost Protocol will continue the trend started by MI:III.  Also, I <3 Brad Bird, the man responsible for The Iron Giant, The Incredibles, and Ratatouille.  

Behold!  The first British movie to be shot in 3D:

What. The. Hell.  That almost made me vomit.

Trailer Trash Throwback: "I Lied"  *drops man off cliff* 

Trailer Trash Tuesday

Every year the seasons change, people pay their taxes, Mark Sanchez is a mediocre quarterback, and Meryl Streep receives an Academy Award nomination.  That last one is not as exaggerated as you might think.  Since 1978, Meryl Streep has received sixteen nominations or an average of one every two years for films as varied as Julie & Julia, Sophie's Choice and The Devil Wears Prada.  Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher is a virtual lock for a seventeenth.  The Academy should go ahead and mail her the nomination so she can start thinking about her acceptance speech, just in case she wins.

I think this could be everything Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps should have been: entertaining, tense, and even a little bit informative.  If Margin Call can supplement the impressive cast with strong storytelling it could be the definitive film about the financial crisis of the late 2000's

Credit: Warren Manser

Why did I upload a picture of Optimus Prime with a jetpack?  I'm glad you asked.  Reports recently surfaced that Michael Bay is currently in talks to direct a fourth and possibly fifth Transformers film.  After Dark of the Moon made $1.2 billion at the box office studio execs apparently realized that if you give Michael Bay $300 million and a picture of giant robots he will give you a movie everyone wants to see.

There aren't many hard details yet but Ehren Kruger would likely return as writer and Spielberg would return as executive producer.  Shia LeBeouf definitely won't return but a possible replacement has been mentioned: Jason Statham.  Yep, they might replace this with this.  There has been no word on the potential story but I'm betting Unicron  could have something to do with it.



This week's Trailer Trash Throwback:

Trailer Trash Tuesday

Not many trailers to talk about this week but I can't ignore the brand new The Avengers trailer

I mentioned in my last Trailer Trash post how ridiculously high the expectations are for this film.  "Good" won't cut it, people are going to want "Great" and that trailer wasn't.  My biggest complaint is that it isn't memorable.  The villain just stared intensely, cars exploded, Sam Jackson has an eye patch, *yawn*.  Robert Downey Jr.'s witty little speech is the only part that stuck with me.  A shot of the whole team together, in costume, would have been a great moment.  This scene would have been even better (told you).  

As I've already said, this film is a tall order.  Deciding too much based on a first trailer would be a mistake but consider me as skeptical as ever.

This week's Trailer Trash Throwback
In honor of the recently released Gear of War 3, the TV spot for the first game in the series:

Five years later, this still strikes me as one of the best video game commercials of all time.  It probably conveys the hopelessness and misery of the war against the Locust better than any of the three games. Not having to listen to Marcus's ridiculous voice is also a plus.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.

War Horse

I watched the first trailer for War Horse months ago and was unimpressed.  I couldn’t stop thinking about The Horse and His Boy, one of the books in The Chronicles of Narnia series and easily my least favorite.  The first trailer also came off as overly melodramatic.  However, this second trailer sparked my curiosity.  It’s still melodramatic but the backdrop of World War 1, a conflict usually overshadowed by World War II, should be a breath of fresh air.  My biggest concern is the believability of the relationship between the boy and his horse but if any director can pull off an emotional, sweeping war epic, it’s Stephen Spielberg.

The Avengers

"Great Odin's Raven!"

Obviously, that’s not a trailer but it’s the first official picture from the long-awaited The Avengers film.  The prospect of seeing Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, and Hulk on the same screen has created a huge amount of anticipation.  The fact that Marvel’s films have been dropping hints about this film for years only adds to the anticipation. 

I’m definitely excited but the recent quality of Marvel’s movies has me worried.  Most Marvel films end up being “good.”  Aside from Iron Man and X-Men: First Class you have to go back more than seven years to Spider-Man 2 to find (in my opinion) the last great Marvel film. The amount of anticipation swirling around The Avengers means “good” isn’t going to cut it.  Needless to say, director Joss Whedon has his hands full with Marvel’s greatest heroes.  If he wants my advice, include this scene (Yes, I will continue to include that in every post possible).

This week's Trailer Trash Throwback is in honor of the recently announced Mortal Kombat reboot.  Enjoy a mediocre trailer with an awesome theme song:

Trailer Trash Tuesday

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.



Premium Rush

It’s safe to say that I <3 Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  Although, I can’t say exactly why I have a man-crush on him.  Maybe it’s because I’ve seen him grow up in movies (he starred in Angels in the Outfield) or because he almost always plays a sympathetic everyman.  Regardless of the exact reason, I’m happy to see Gordon-Levitt’s star continue to rise.  That being said, nothing about this trailer really excited me.  There were a few cool clips of Levitt (or a stuntman) riding his bike but the plot didn’t catch my attention and neither did the life of a New York bike messenger.  Maybe future trailers will add a sense of suspense but right now I’m not interested enough to see Premium Rush in theaters.  On a side note, how many times is Levitt’s character going to get hit by a car in this movie? It happens three times in the trailer.





Big Miracle

This is going to sound cold and callous, maybe it is, but by the end of that trailer I couldn’t stop thinking about whether this massive operation is a misallocation of resources.  A whole city shut down, the United States National Guard became involved, as did Soviet icebreakers, and the governor of a state more than twice the size of Texas came under fire when he probably had bigger things to worry about.  The operation also cost more than $1 million.  I know I sound mean but it seems like a million dollars could be better spent on something else related to the environment.  Then again, maybe this movie’s $30 million budget is an even larger misallocation of resources.



This week's Trailer Trash Throwback:

Flash Gordon

This is a throwback from way before my time but I recently watched it. Flash Gordon is campy, colorful, bizarre, and entertaining in the strangest way possible.  It tells the story of Flash Gordon, a star player on the New York Jets who is sucked into an intergalactic conflict with the aptly named Ming the Merciless.  As far as I know, it’s the first film to combine lightning fields, Hawkmen, a song by Queen, and Timothy Dalton.  If you feel like getting alcohol poisoning try this drinking game.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.

The Double

At two minutes and twenty-five seconds that has to be one of the shortest movies I’ve ever seen.  I definitely didn’t see that plot twist coming! 

Seriously though, why did that trailer reveal so much?  The only thing I don’t know about The Double is how Richard Gere’s character dies.  Most trailers usually reveal quite a bit about the plot but I’ve never heard of one revealing the film’s major plot twist. I find it even more amusing that the trailer’s description says, “[Sheperdson and Geary] discover that Cassius may not be the person they thought him to be.” Shocking.

Also, who decided to cast Richard Gere and Topher Grace in this?  There are roles both of them are suited to but Richard Gere doesn’t strike me as a cold-blooded ex-Soviet spy  and Topher Grace isn’t the most believable FBI agent.  After all, one became famous by appearing in romantic comedies with Julia Roberts and the other by playing a nerdy kid on That 70's Show. 




Breakaway

If Breakaway seems familiar that’s because it has the same plot (and disapproving father) as Bend it Like Beckham and the same director as D3 the third (and worst) Mighty Ducks film.  A more fitting title would be something like: Bend if Like Beckham 2: It’s Knuckle-Puck Time  or D4: Asian Invasion.

According to Rottentomatoes.com Breakaway is rated “R” but I’m not sure why.  Is there hardcore nudity? Do the extremely dangerous-looking helmets first shown at 1:27 into the trailer end up killing the other team?  Is Rob Lowe’s sex tape shown at intermission?  Part of me wants to see Breakaway just to know why.

This week's Trailer Trash Throwback:  (I couldn't resist)

D2: The Mighty Ducks

Icelanders are so evil.

Cool Runnings

So are the Swiss.

Trailer Trash Tuesday (the one-day-late-edition)

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.

Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil

Wow, that is a surprisingly hilarious trailer.  I expected another Scary Movie or Meet the Spartans (I HATE THOSE MOVIES) but this looks to be a refreshing parody of a genre that hasn’t done anything original in almost a decade.  The late 90’s was the heyday of teen horror films, every other new release seemed to feature unbelievably attractive young people running away from a psycho armed with a sharp object.  Figuring out who would survive the mad man’s rampage was as simple as locating the most attractive male and female.  The aforementioned Scary Movie series attempted to parody those types of films but still sucked.  Tucker and Dale looks like it might succeed.  Who would have thought that it would take until 2011 for someone to finally make a funny parody?  Also, Alan Tudyk aka Wash from Firefly is a personal favorite of mine. 

I’m going to look pretty dumb if this ends up sucking.

Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Anyone who reads this blog probably already knows my views on the Saw and Final Destination series but for those of you who don’t: I hate them.  I think both series produce cheap movies that rely on gore and shock-factor instead of plot or character development.  That being said, at least Saw tries to have a plot and Final Destination has a reasonably interesting premise, the first time (not the fifth time).  Human Centipede doesn’t even try to do anything but show the most vomit-inducing, unsettling scenes possible.  From what I can tell the sequel is just going to try and up the grossness as much as possible and then up it some more (reading the Wikipedia article made me uncomfortable).  Call me crazy, but a filmmaker whose only skill is thinking of the most awful things that can happen to a human being does not impress me. 

I really wish Human Centipede 2 wasn’t happening.  What if aliens receive a transmission of the broadcast making it their first exposure they have to the human race?!  I’m already worried they might have seen Two Girls One Cup. 

This week’s Trailer Trash Throwback:

Meet the Spartans (click on the link for the trailer)

No, your career just got served

Apparently whomever owns the rights to Meet the Spartans disabled video embedding for every decent quality trailer.  I’m assuming this is a halfhearted attempt to keep people like myself from flinging hatred at the film.  That won’t stop me.  Some things don’t deserve hatred while some others do but Meet the Spartans demands hatred.

I remember thinking the trailers looked bad but dear god that is beyond awful.  The only impressive part about Meet the Spartans is that the actors managed to deliver those lines with a straight face.  They must have been hammered.  Cramming as many pop culture references as possible in to a film isn’t funny.  In fact, it may have accomplished something I didn’t think possible: be less funny that this: 

If you want to maintain your faith humanity stop reading. 

Aside from grossing $85 million at the box office, for one week in January 2008 Meet the Spartans was the most popular movie in North America.  How is that possible?! What is the world coming to?!

Trailer Trash Tuesday

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.



Footloose


This trailer is lacking three things:
1. Kevin Bacon
2. Glitter
3. Kenny Loggins aka the man responsible for the best parts the of Footloose AND Top Gun soundtracks.

Other than that, I think Footloose has a pretty well made trailer. It’s clearly not going to venture away from the original formula (pretty sure Ren wore the same outfit to his first day of school in the 80’s version and drove the same car) but that doesn’t really bother me because the original is still entertaining and charming, even if it’s a little cheesy. A well-done remake of an 80’s dance flick is still better than most films. I also appreciate not using gimmicky 3D like certain other dance films *cough* Step Up *cough.*

Fun fact of the day: Footloose is loosely based on events in tiny Elmore City, Oklahoma (population: 756) where dancing was banned for almost 100 years.





Bunraku


Isn't a trailer supposed to explain what a movie is about? That trailer is a jumbled mess.  A cowboy, a samurai, Ron Perlman with dreadlocks, karate, Demi Moore, and the bad guy from Bad Boys 2.  I didn't know it's possible to put all of those in one trailer.  Furthermore, having a unique visual style is one thing but Bunraku’s visuals look like a combination of B-movie CGI and backdrops from a high school play.

If you’re still holding out hope for Bunraku, allow me to quash it with two facts: its director, Guy Moshe, doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page and Josh Hartnett’s mustache looks stupid. Speaking of Josh Hartnett, what happened to him? I thought Hollywood Homicide would be a career-maker!

Now for this week’s Trailer Trash Throwback:

The Halo series has generated some awesome videos including Deliver Hope and ODST.  They not only made me want to buy Halo games but also want to enlist in the UNSC and kill some aliens.  This Halo 3 Trailer is the best of the bunch:

AHH, the aliens must pay, Master Chief should be canonized, and everyone should have their own space armor!  Almost five years later I still get excited every time I watch that.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.

Underworld: Awakening

After not appearing in Rise of the Lycans everyones favorite vampire warrioress is returning in eye-poppingly cheesy 3D!  Aside from learning that warrioress is a word (eye-poppingly is not), the trailer taught me that the filmmakers have zeroed-in on the three things people like about the series: Kate Beckinsale, Kate Beckinsale in a leather body suit, and Kate Beckinsale naked.  At least they are giving the people what they want.

Johnny English Reborn

I can't believe Mr. Bean is still starring in movies.  Do British people think he's funny?  Does anyone think he's funny?  Why does this movie steal a scene from the original Austin Powers?  How did this movie get green lit?  Why is no one heading my call to end movie trailer voiceovers?  Why did the east coast of the United States experience an earthquake today?  I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!  I'm so confused...




This week's Trailer Trash Throwback:

With a compelling story, great acting, some extremely well-done scenes, and a great trailer, Children of Men has it all.  In fact, it is one of my favorite films of all time.  If you haven't already seen it, do yourself a favor and check it out.

Trailer Trash Tuesday

In which I talk about some of the best/worst trailers.

Senna

The trailer for Senna, his Wikipedia article, and this video confirmed what I already suspected: F1 drivers are insane. The ridiculous speed, hairpin turns, and exposed driver's seat scare the hell out of me.  ESPN's 30 for 30 series made me realize I have a soft spot for sports documentaries, so this is my kind of movie.  Unfortunately, Senna is not a wide release so I will have to wait until it is available on Netflix.

RA One

Even if I wanted to see RA One, I doubt I would be able to, but many people in India seem to be excited.  The trailer on YouTube has some interesting comments, one claims that "SRK (the film's star) haters r RACISM believers" (does not having an opinion make me sort of racist?) and the most "liked" comment says, "this movies is one of the beat movies of Bollywood compere the technology and this movie goes to all time blockbaster."  I'm just going to assume Google translate is responsible for that.

Also, constantly flashing text in the middle of a trailer is really annoying.  I always think I might have missed and/or forgotten one of the text flashes. Explaining what the movie is about through the use of character dialogue is better (such as this, even if it did suck).  Using one or two to convey the release date or setting (place or time) is okay but trailers like RA One bother me.

Abduction

Instead of talking about how Taylor Lautner is a miserable actor I've come up with a list of things I would rather do than see this film.

1.Throw myself into a well

2. Fight Taylor Lautner

3. Staple my penis to a wall

4. Watch The Face of the Milk Carton a 1995 made for TV movie with the same premise as Abduction

5. Watch Two Girls, One Cup

6. Eat a ghost pepper

And now for my new addition to Trailer Trash Tuesday: Trailer Throwback.  Every week I will be including an old trailer that was memorable for me.  This week is the trailer for  Ridley Scott's 2005 film about the Crusades, Kingdom of Heaven.  

I love epics and I'm a history nerd so this trailer got me really excited when it was first released.  Great actors, sweeping shots of huge battle sequences, and some memorable lines were great but a story about the Crusades was the kicker.  Unfortunately, the theatrical release fell flat (the director's cut is an improvement) but I still enjoy the trailer.