5 Reasons Why Green Lantern will suck

For months I have been saying that Green Lantern will suck. As the June 17^th release date approaches, I’m sticking to that, here’s why:

#1 The Cast:

What does every good comic book movie have in common?  A solid cast, it doesn’t guarantee a quality movie (see Batman & Robin) but to date every good comic book movie has had a strong cast.  For Example, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight boasted protagonists that included Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Cane, and Gary Oldman while the films’ antagonists are Liam Neeson and Heath Ledger.  The original X-Men series featured Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin, and Halle Berry while the reboot starred James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, and Jennifer Lawrence. 

 I’ll stop this now because I think you get the idea, I just don’t think Green Lantern’s primary cast of Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Mark Strong, and Peter Sarsgaard (Tim Robbins is also listed as a “Star” but his role sounds limited) has anywhere near the talent level of the other movies.  Only Sarsgaard has received any sort of legitimate recognition for his acting, the other movies I mentioned all have highly decorated casts. 

#2 The Villain:

I don’t think a successful superhero movie necessarily NEEDS a great villain, it helps, but neither Iron Man had one.  However, the villain for Green Lantern seems laughable.  His name is Hector Hammond and this is what he looks like.

It looks like he has Elephantiasis on his forehead 

Sure, that big head makes him smart and telepathic but he looks ridiculous.  Compare his intimidation factor to this:

Still awesome

or this:

He put a bomb into one of his henchmen then set it off, I doubt  Hector Hammond will be doing that.

#3 The Director:

Martin Campbell is the director for Green Lantern and whereas the X-Men: First Class director, Matthew Vaughn, has the Midas Touch, Campbell seems a bit lacking.  Three of his first films are The Sex Thief, Eskimo Nell, and Intimate Games.  If you’re thinking to yourself, “Those sound like the names of porn movies,” that’s because they are the names of porn movies.  But, I won’t hold those against him, they were shot in the 70’s.
What I will hold against him are some of his more recent movies, which include, Vertical Limit (sucked), The Legend of Zorro (sucked), Edge of Darkness (tried to imitate better movies but still sucked), and Beyond Borders (never seen it but supposedly sucked horribly).  Campbell did have one gem in Casino Royale and one decent movie in Goldeneye but the latter of the two holds the dubious distinction of being the only movie in history to have a game adaptation be far superior than the movie.

#4 LOL:

The Green Lanterns have one weakness, the color yellow.  Yellow is the color of sunshine and daisies but Green Lanterns are powerless against it.  This already makes me question how “super” Green Lanterns actually are, but this pretty much kills it for me.

#5  Almost too much marketing:

This last reason is pretty nit-picky, but five reasons sounds better than four and this has been annoying me.  Is it really necessary to put a trailer on every single commercial break and website and to even have a really lame sponsorship of the NBA Finals?  I have seen enough trailers for Green Lantern over the past three weeks to make me sick of every scene shown. In addition, I have seen enough of the movie from trailers to completely predict the storyline.