The Dumbest Sounding Movies of 2012

I found a list of all the high profile movies to be released in 2012.  Some of them sound awesome, others sound like everyone involved is probably on drugs. Here are the most ridiculous sounding ones:

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (February 17, 2012 Release)

The Cage hasn't looked this good in a while

Starring:

Nicolas Cage (shocking)

I didn’t recognize a single other name on the cast list

Superhero movies almost always get sequels, but I figured Ghost Rider had to be the exception to the rule.  There is nothing about it that warrants a sequel.  Shows you how much I know.  I tried to read Spirit of Vengeance’s premise to see what great ordeal Johnny Blaze (Cage) will have to endure this time, but it became physically painful after two sentences.  Don’t worry though, even without reading the entire premise I can say with 99.99% certainty that Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance will suck.



Battleship (May 18, 2012 Release)

Starring

Taylor Kitsch

Liam Neeson

Brooklyn Decker

Rihanna (seriously)

When I first saw this I thought it was a joke, but upon further research I discovered Battleship is definitely not a joke.  To quote the Wikipedia article, “Battleship is an upcoming 2012 science fiction naval war film base on the game of the same name.”  Yes, they mean this game:

LOL, look at the wife and daughter in the background

Was a movie executive playing Battleship against his 10 year-old son when he thought to himself, “Damn, he just sunk my battleship. WAIT A SECOND!  This could be box office gold.  I need to call my agent ASAP!”

Agent Upon Hearing Idea

If this is going to start a trend with board games, I’m requesting that Yahtzee, Chutes and Ladders, and Guess Who starring Sam Jackson are fast-tracked for the silver screen.

The Expendables 2 (August 27, 2012 Release)

ADRIAN!... Is over there

Starring:

Every action star past his prime

I couldn’t wait to see the first Expendables.  The movie featured some of the best action stars of all time.  What could go wrong?  Well, when you don’t even attempt to explain what the hell is going on or use the action stars well, something goes terribly wrong.  The original disappointed me so much that I no longer have any faith in the second. 

However, while reading about Expendables 2 I discovered a fun game.  From the list of actors who may be added to the cast tell me which one is not like the others: Person 1, Person 2, Person 3,  Person 4, or Person 5.